Some Thoughts

[Cthulhu Kid]

Okay, so I've had a number of ideas that I think might be relatively funny puns for items or quest arcs, etc. Here they are:

Acrosombrero - a low power (~60-80) hat that can only be worn by male players dropped South of the Border. The joke is that the 'acrosome' is the portion of a sperm-head that burrows into an unfertilized egg ... perhaps it does more damage when used to head butt?

A Crow's Foot in Time - an adventure arc that is a rip off of the story 'A Wrinkle in Time' and that has to do with either tesseracts (and the general, puzzling nature of their fourth-dimensional natures) or time-travel. Perhaps a quest item to solve this problem would be CrotoxTM or ChronotoxTM (rather than Botox) to straighten out the wrinkles in time.

The Pick Czar - the leader of one of the Giant Dwarves in Itznotyourzitzmine Mines. He summons many inanimate objects and minions to defend him and deal damage in combat. It would all be a reference to Pixar and their many critically acclaimed movies. Thus, it could be deeper in the caves than is necessary for adventurers to travel to get ores needed for the Fur Trader Quest.

Occidental Adventures - This would be a pun on Oriental Adventures (the Occident is the Western, as opposed to Eastern, hemisphere), which greatly imbalanced D&D when published and didn't really jive with the existing system. Not only would this open up a new realm of jokes and references (hopefully not overtly racist), but also it would enable 'Kung fu' effects to replace weapons; instead of purchasing powerful weapons, characters would purchase karate/wushu/thai lessons that would enable them to fight with their 'fists/forehead/feet of fury' (unarmed attacks). As such, the game would be turned on its head in this realm, as one might think when traveling in the Orient. An additional idea might be to replace the elements that exist in KoL with other elements (perhaps, traditional Greek, Chinese, OR absurd elements OR zodiacs OR fictiticous fighting styles).


... that will have to do for now as I lost my notes on the matter.

[Cthulhu Kid]

Other than an Oriental Adventurers ripoff, we seem to be missing a volcano. Yeah, I know that Hey Deze is essentially the fire element zone in the game, but I really want to see you face some Volcano Girls and see a reference to the song (pretty lame, but, I figure that's the sort of comment to make freely here). I mean, come on, where's the volcano?

Lovecraftian Nastiness: What can I say? More is better.

Pog-Sothoth: A monstrous entity that hurls various discs at you causing you to take various elemental damage. An obvious pun on the 'pog phenomena' some young children had in the 90's. Drops could include pogs for elemental attacks.

Hot Yiggity Dog: A monster, based off of Yigg, that will ocassionally say yiggity-yiggity-yiggity and do other things quaqmireish (perhaps found in a quag or mire)?

Other, less cool, stuff:

Mnemonic Possession: A nice chance to mock the movie Johnny Mnemonic and the acting of Keaneu Reeves ... who could pass that up?

Gorelust Weapon:
* Strikes like some monstrous mother of a world-spanning web!
* Chills your enemy's soul ominously describing cataclysmic heatwaves.
* Arcs electric, like the power source of those meatcars that no one buys, but ought to.
* Urges you to vote Blue!
* Grows angry at all the crimson vicera it sees! Roll Tide? It thinks not!

Odiferi: (Odiferus = singular) a stench-based populace feuding with the Freebreezians. These are some of the peoples that inhabit Themthar Hills.

Field of Kreamed Corn: Possible fun references both to the band Korn and any of the silly Children of the Corn movies. It's just too easy.

Freebreezians: An elf-like population of toga-wearing sissies that think their sh!t don't stink. Feuding with the short, squaty Odiferi. Their abilities are of stench resistance, starching powders, and pomp-pomp.

Jed Clampeti: An off-shoot of the Oderifi and Freebreezians that went off on their own to begin a breeding program to unleash the power of their meta-fluorians--the infective organisms that resulted from imbibing impure fluids. You must never mix the fluids! ... Communists putting fluorine in the water. The Jed Clampeti live in Themthar Hills near the Mutatious Mountains.

Khut'thruyu: A weapon harvested from the innards of the nameless thing from out of space that should not be. Beware, this drains HP, love. Craft such as this is attributed to mountains of mad train wine, guzzled by a mouth of madness. No, R'lyeh, watchout. (when the weapon critically hits, it drains HP, but does melee damage scaling with the monster's level).

Babbling I am. Oh well, too bad.

[Cthulhu Kid]

I still haven't found my notes, but I can see something fun happening in the Occidental Adventure in the land of OOLOS (Out of Line of Sight) ... or some other such name.

Anyhow, money wouldn't be the same, weapons would do MUCH less damage than was needed, armor would slow you down against monstrously high initiative monsters, and elemental damage might be out of wonk (various Asian paradigms have different elemental schemes than Western elemental schemes) and so you would have to beg. And this leg of the adventure could be called Enter the BegZ0r (which I just find hilarious).

Enter the BegZ0r:
Imagine a new mechanic for fighting where you have a style or a stance that gives you abilities like a skill or familiar would. Maybe IT could gain experience as you used it and your "kung fu" could grow stronger (like a familiar's weight). The ideas for this mechanic are as wide open as concentrating to activate the stance in combat, powering up the stance in combat (a la Dragon Ball Z), or maybe just having a 'belt' high enough in the stance that you can't be hurt (or won't be attacked). This could offer varied challenges and goals against monsters/masters stomping on you ... especially if you had to "shrug" concentration of one-style in a battle in an attempt to adopt another (heh, why not fight a magi ogre from D&D that are orientalish, or a multi-headed being).

Enter the BegZ0r:Familiars
Maybe your familiars are too anxious to go with you on your travels; reasons could be as blanketing as "too bad they aren't allowed on the meatplane" or as individualized as "your leperchaun knows that gold is from the west, not the east" (or whatever). Perhaps even a joke about familiars being eatten in that portion of the world.

Enter the BegZ0r:Learning to Stance
Perhaps there is an initial one-time adventure called "Prying Open the Third Eye" that references Third Eye Blind, but ultimately enables you to perform stances.

Enter the BegZ0r:Stances in the Kingdom
If someone tried to activate a stance in the Kingdom, there could be a messge like "you demonstrate many impressive stances, but stop when [enemy's name] slowly reaches for his pistol holster" to joke on Indian Jones and keep the stances in the Occidental Adventures.

Enter the BegZ0r:Armor and Weapons
Perhaps a new mechanic institutes a -10% Initiative penalty for every 10 points of a weapon's power and a similar penalty for each 10 points of armor's defense. A funny message could explain this just as a monk in D&D can't attack very well with weapons and finds his Armor Class and abilities demolished when he wears armor.


... more later ...

[Cthulhu Kid]

I Love All My Pets Equally:
Basically, in order to qualify for this trophy, all familiars must have a weight greater than <insert weight> and either all have the same weight, experience, OR number of adventures (in increasing order of difficulty). The minimum weight might be something like 4 or 5 ... more if Jick is feeling sadistic.
Love with Timesheets

Sergeant Snuggles
Player must pulverize 100 stuffed animals obtained in a single run from the Mr. Klaw.
Elmyra Duff

Dust to Dust
Discard 1000 useless dusts.
I think it's the flakes

Philthy Philanthropist
Give Jick $500 in real life. Ha, just kidding.
We call them good deed doers

No Rest for the Wicked OR Don't Rest Your Head
Ascend without Resting on/in:
(A) the Ground
(B) a NewbiesportTM Tent
(C) a Barskin Tent
(D) Cottage
(E) House
(F) Sandcastle
(G) Comfy Sofa
I'm a Insomniac, Insomniac on the Floor

Tanned to Perfection
Attainable only on the Brightest Day of the Year (when brightness is 10) after spending X adventures sleeping on the ground at the campground.
Brasso in the Grasso

Popular and Catching
Receive X Valentine's Day cards from people on Valentine's Day.
Village Bicycle


... or something

[Cthulhu Kid]

I also think that the Asymmetric Team should include at least one reference to Hugh Gallagher's 'College Essay' found here.


That is all (for now).

[Cthulhu Kid]

I sort of liked the Farm Quest where you're chasing ducks to their various locations and killing them off. Specifically, I like how their presence is reflected on the map.

I thought it might be interesting if one of the levels culminated in a fight (or many) against one ginormous/hugemungous monster that was likewise visible from the map and had to be tracked. This could parody Godzilla, Cloverfield, the Tarasque, Voltron, Power Rangers, etc. and you might have to fight through hordes of little monsters to get to him (with the encounter with him being sort of a random event). Perhaps he could be called The Tarafield Zillasque or some such nonsense. I figure that, like many stepwise adventures, many of the "encounters" would really be peeling away at the monster in a non-combat way to soften him up for eventual defeat via real combat. Of course, maybe Jick & Co. could give you the option of fighting him head on and getting annihilated if you think you're just that cool (and some KoLers are, actually). I think that could be pretty cool with the right implementation. I mean, there are boss fights so far, but nothing like the classic Mega Monsters that pillage the countryside and are visible from the horizon. On the other hand, I wonder if Jick would create a "Drag-On Quest" like the Quest for the Holy MacGuffin if given a chance.

Not that I'd petition for it, but there's no moon-base yet. On the other hand, this isn't James Bond, so I guess there doesn't have to be one.

And, unless I missed something, there are no Underwater maps with associated adventures. That's another genera that's missing.

That's all for now.

[Cthulhu Kid]

I had an interesting idea that your Nemesis (or a quest ending boss) could be a homunculous or clone generated, in part, from one of the oldest and most revered members of the kingdom (with allusions being to Jick). Thus, a magical or technological monster made from some of Jick's cells would be your opponent.

Perhaps this enemy would have some of Jick's alleged abilities, such as using skills from any of the various classes, having a class, or being able to switch between these 'classes' in using abilities. I figure this could be interesting and maybe even challenging to program.

I don't know if such an encounter would overshadow (ha ha) the Shadow Class enemy or involve Jick in the story line too much.

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if we called out Jarlsburg, Sneaky Pete, and Boris in other ways to help deal with the problem. Conversely, the this "Super Soldier" could also be based off of your character's last ascension (or running ascension history). That'd be interesting, indeed.

Plus, I figure that this would be as good a time as any to insert the references to Hugh Gallagher's college entrance essay (see the post before last).

That is all for now.

[Cthulhu Kid]

Holy crap, but my last really long post must have gotten lost on its way to the administrator. *sigh* Well, once more into the breach, dear friends. I'll break this down into maybe three posts.

PARA CITADEL
Acarina of Time / Play the Acari / Do the Acarina- (Acarina/Acari = tick's phylogeneic Subclass) Easy to pun. Some moxious (or not) non-combat where you must beat a flea either playing a video game, playing an instrument, or dancing.

Amnesty Goat- (Amastigote = parasitic unflagellated protozoan) Possibly a familiar that acts like a half-potato, half-mosquito.

Biopreparat H- (Biopreparat = Soviet Union's Bioweapon Agency; Preparation H = hemorrhoid cream) A non-combat where some engineered cream is used to cause Pinworm Guards (or such) to avoid you.

*Bookworm- perhaps a helpful NPC from whom you purchase book/pamphlet items.

Buccal Bugle- (buccal cavity = mouth) a musical, ranged weapon that drains monster HP (or MP) on criticals.

Draculalisk- (Dracunculus = a human parasite that lives in forearms/lower legs) A spooky parasite. Possibly less common than the other monsters. It drains elemental damage and heals itself in this manner. A more magical, scary monster than the others.

*Glowworm- perhaps a helpful NPC that gives you information on the next step of your quest. Obviously, he works at the power station to get his lustrous glow.

Ghandi, I- (Toxoplasma gondii is a protozoan parasite) Encounter a pacifist. Gain Mysticality.

Helminth, A Mystical Convergence- (Hellmouth pun) Possible reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. On the other hand, it could be that the Para Citadel is built on the back of a giant monster and this is where the player encounters this beast (as a pre-cursor or possibly a second step of the Pathognomon boss).

Hookworm- Possible monster. Pirate wannabe? Perhaps 'hooking' you gives you a de-leveling effect for the duration of the combat.

Inth Helm- (Helminth = any of all parasitic worms) A hat, which gives the player appropriate bonuses.

Paracite Ore- Ore used to smith weapons that have HP draining effects (and restorative effects for our heroes) on critical hits.

Pathognomon- (Pathognomonic = symptom with one possible diagnosis) Possibly the gnome behind it all; the invading enemy that sought to create a biological weapon to threaten The Council of Loathing.

Pinworm- Possible monster. Possibly a wrestler. Maybe being 'pinned' gives you a Muscle penalty for the duration of the combat from shame of a quickly being pinned.

*Ringworm- an NPC blacksmith that is needed to forge a ring. Possibly a NPC that sells items.

Scolex Watch- (Scolex = worm 'head') An Accessory. This item gives you +2 adventures per day, but comes at the cost of regenerating neither HP nor MP during rollover from campground housing while equipped. Also, only one should be able to be equipped ... perhaps also excluding a regular Dead Guy's Watch (but not the Plexiglass Pocketwatch).

Sweet Necator of the Gods- (Necator = hookworm Genus) Possibly a non-combat in which you catch up with a crookworm (defected from the hookworms) who advances your quest.

Tapewyrm- (Tapeworm; Duct tape) A dragon-like monster. Perhaps it drops duct tape at a low rate. Maybe it steals meat or low-level foods from you.

Tequila!- Rescue a drowning citizen of the Para Citadel. You manage to siphon off some bottles of Tequila. Gain X bottles of tequila. (1-3)

Tripan- (Trypanosome = paracitic, single-flagellated protozoan) Weapon. A cooking utensil that has the requisite spell bonus damage.

What a Fluke!- Non-combat Adventure. Tries to sell you some "sweetmeats," but fails to con you. Gain some moxie.

Whipworm- Possible monster. Obviously whip-wielding. Possibly a dominator(-atrix). Perhaps being 'whipped' gives you a Moxie penalty effect for the duration of the combat.

I'll post more soon.