Hermit-freind, or Foe?

[Drefan_Rahl]

Im sure y'all know a lot about the hermit. But, im here to tell you the stuff that you don't know. You see, the hermit started out as a street vendor who sold worthless trinketts and petty gew-gaws. Yet no one bought any of his wares. He was mocked and hated. Then one day, a rich man, I believe his name was Sneaky Pete. Bought all his trinkets and gew-gaws. This made the hermit ecstatic, so he ran up and down the market singing and dancing...until he came across ol' Sneaky Pete dumping them all in the sewer saying they are about as worthless as chewing gum on a string. Enraged and emotionaly scarred the hermit burrow a cave into the side of a mountain and diseapeared. A few years later, he decided to re-obtain his item (and ultimately get his revenge upon humanity. So every 3-4 days he would go out and gather up all the clovers, volley balls, planks off ships, baked good, etc. and sold them, but only if you had a worthless trinkett or gew-gaw. Slowly his stash started to grow. He then started constructing an ultimate weapon. He did this by super-heating the worthless trinketts into a radio-active materialwhich he contained in a shell of gew-gaws. After he melted them down, he would turn around and sell the depleted trinketts as "valuable trinketts" (which is a complete and total scam!) thus making a profit off the unwary and gullible. Although one man would not stand for such tyranny.

You see, the hill were the hermit resides, was origionally the mountain of orc'asmic algabreaic spelling(were the 1337 l-l4><0R lived). So one day he snuck back in and attemtped to hack into this weapon of mass destruction. Sadly, and tragically, It exploded killing him(and in the process plastering his soul into peices of scrolls) and creating a huge gash through the mountains currently known as the Orc'asm. It also tore asunder the space/time continuum. Creating a handful of astral rifts throughout the kingdom. Needing money desperately, the hermit sold off his failed expirement (the now radio-active gew-gaws) calling them lil' riflets. yet for some reason the hermit was never blamed or held responsible for chaos. Either way, the selling of his "lil' riflets" earned him enough money that he could start his next project. The Ultimate Final Destructive Assault Mech of Doom(UFDAMoD). He is currently working on this project at the moment. Although KoL weapon inspectors have claimed to search the mountain and find no trace of such a project we believe that they were given a bunch of clovers and hot baked rolls to keep quiet. Never the less, the council is unawares of what is going on so it is up to us to stop him. Or adventures as we know them will cease to exist. Good Luck, and Remember...


AN ADVENTURER IS YOU!!!


-Drefan_rahl

[MrsWoman2]

Then kill him lol

[kuthulazrah]

i suspect (if what you say is true) the hermit MUST be in cahoots with the nefarious penguin mafia. That dastardly plan is just to villainous to not include their evil black accursed wings!

[MrsWoman2]

the hermit, the penguins and the NS...

THEY ARE THE KOL AXIS OF EVIL!

[kuthulazrah]

uht oh......dont let bush hear that......the US will be invading Loathing next!

[MrsWoman2]

but all I have to say to Bush is... "The hippies in Canada have nucular weapons" since canada's alright but not good enough.

PS how do you get those special smileys?

[kuthulazrah]

canadas alright.....except for the bags of milk....that might get canada put into the axis of evil....cause everyone knows that bags of milk are just not right...

ps
just click the more button under the rest of the smilies and they will pop up <- i like that one teh best

[MrsWoman2]

then attack Greenland lol Greenland sucks.

Me = =Greenland.

Oh PS you forgot the third worthless item.

[Ginister]

I never believed these rumours about the hermit until the day he started putting limits on the number of clovers he stocks, when he stocks them at all. Before that, I believed he was just a crazy ex-miner who enjoyed shiny trinkets and was willing to trade thigns he'd come across that were of no use to him anymore in his retirment. Now I'm not so sure of the purity of his intentions.

[kuthulazrah]

third worthless item?